Archive for Misunderstandings
Assertive communication techniques that allow you to express yourself clearly while still earning respect take a bit of practice but are well worth the effort. Assertive means without becoming loud, angry or irritated. And, respect is not synonymous with agreement it means with proper concern and courtesy.
Here are 5 assertive communication techniques your can practice to be heard without being misunderstood:
1. Self-disclosure is revealing information about yourself that allows others to respond to you by creating a shared vulnerability. This is particularly difficult for managers and leaders to practice as sharing personal deficiencies no matter how common or insignificant are discouraged.
“I don’t know much about…” is a powerful statement that suggests your willingness to learn is greater than your need to be right.
Using the common feel, felt, found approach can also be effective self-disclosure technique:
“I understand how you feel, I felt that way myself when the company changed hands, but then I found that by listening to their point-of view I realized we had many common values.”
2. Acknowledging without agreeing is another communication skill assertive people practice. This is especially helpful when dealing with a dissenter during a meeting or presentation.
“What an interesting thought…” acknowledges the speaker without encouraging further conversation.
“That might be true and here are my thoughts…” is another option.
3. Calm repetition of the same words is a communication skill that is useful when giving information that might not be well-received.
“My intention is to provide you with the details of the new program…” clearly stated in a firm but calm voice repeatedly until you are acknowledged and given the platform is one possible phrasing.
4.Negative assertion is a bit trickier to use and requires a neutral tone of voice. Occasionally someone may attempt to make you wrong especially regarding principles. You might try this:
“Let me understand, you are saying I’m wrong?” Again, a calm non-accusatory voice is important.
5. When a criticism has been directed at you without explanation, assertively ask for more information while repeating the negative comment.
“What is it about my sales presentation that makes you say it is difficult to follow?
These are just a few communication skills everyone can practice in the workplace to create a more respectful environment while decreasing misunderstandings.
What has worked for you? Leave your thoughts.
And, if you want more tips just like the ones above pick up a copy of my book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. People just love how easy it is to apply.
Communication at Work: 3 Ways to Improve Communication and Avoid Misunderstanding
Posted by: | CommentsProbably everyone has experienced a misunderstanding, misinterpretation or a miscommunication at work. It seems that communication breakdowns are so common they are accepted as business as usual. Each time I ask someone if they have ever been misunderstood at work the answer is always yes– demonstrated with a shy smile, a nodding head and maybe rolling eyes. I suspect some guilt in those answers.
When I ask what the cost of such a misunderstanding might be the immediate response seems to trigger a train-of-thought ending in ‘aha’ moment. Suddenly, the real costs associated with even a simple miscommunication begin to appear like a magicians unending scarf trick. Loss of a customer today due to a misunderstanding could mean lost revenue in the future. Loss of production time now might result in a missed opportunity later. Miscommunication with a co-worker might result in bad feelings, poor morale, less productivity or costly mistakes. In some professions the result of a misunderstanding can result in death.
Here’s how you can decrease misunderstandings and communicate more effectively:
1. Take responsibility for your communication. Whether or not you have initiated a conversation does not let you off the hook for confirming what was said and intended. Create a mind-set that releases you from being right so you have the opportunity to learn.
I recently encountered a sales clerk who refused to shift her thinking about a situation even when her supervisor explained why a garment I was returning had a different number than the receipt. As far as the clerk was concerned, I did not have a receipt and she proceeded to handle the transaction as such. This resulted in more issues, more time lost and a second round of a managers intervention. Not to mention my growing aggravation.
To the manager’s credit she did an excellent job of explaining what probably happened and after overriding a computer default she expected the return to be handled smoothly. Unfortunately, she failed to confirm the clerk’s interpretation of her message assuming she understood.
Responsibility means verifying that your message was interpreted as you intended.
2. Match your listener’s communication style. If you are a fast talker but your listener is slower paced they may miss what you are saying as they struggle to process your message. If your style is less direct and you prefer to use a lot of words when communicating you may find that someone with a direct style may lose interest, become distracted and misunderstand your message.
Observe your listener and adjust your style accordingly. If you are the receiver, listen from the speaker’s point-of-view and confirm what you’ve heard. Context is as important as content. Your frame of reference can easily distort a positive intention if it doesn’t match the speaker’s point of reference.
3. Handle a misunderstanding immediately. If something has gone wrong in the communication process open up the lines of communication as soon as possible. Often the result of a misinterpretation doesn’t come to the forefront until a further action has taken place. Rather than place blame, seek to rectify the situation and move forward.
The cost of misunderstandings is too big to ignore. Be a part of the solution by taking responsibility, shifting your style and handling misunderstandings quickly.
If you’re serious about improving your communication skills but don’t want to go back to school just pick up a copy of my book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Do it now!
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Communicating: How You Say it Creates the Meaning of the Message
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Words are important but intonation and context create the meaning in your communication. Misunderstandings come largely from a misinterpretation of the context or the framework around the words. The meaning of the message becomes distorted. Even a single word can cause a response so far from the original intention that a conversation breaks down instantly.
Take the word, “oh.” It can mean a multitude of things depending on how you say it:
- “Oh?” a question.
- “Oooh!” understanding.
- “Uh oh.” A mistake.
- “Oooh?” as in, “You are in trouble now!”
- “Ohhhhh!” as in, “I really like that!”
If “oh?”(a question) is the response to wonderful news when “ohhhhh!” (I like that) might have been the expected response the conversation could take a distinctly different turn. The bearer of good news who was feeling elated might suddenly be questioning their own feelings.
Just thinking about the turns this short exchange could take is the stuff of sit-coms. She said this and he heard that. Yikes.
In sit-coms the endings are always happy but in real life the consequences might not wrap up with contented, evolved human beings.
How you say it—food for thought.
Job Function–Avoid Costly Misundersandings with Clear Communication
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Misunderstanding a job role causes more issues than simply lost production. Customer complaints, lost business, public safety or legal issues are all at stake.
Clear communication takes more than a paragraph in a handbook or a few sentences uttered by human resources or a manager. Ideally, the job function conversation should occur not only during the interview and orientation process but throughout the first ninety days.
Here are a few ways to clearly communicate the role of a job to decrease misunderstandings:
- Verbally describe the role including tasks and expectations. The challenge here is to be both specific and broad. Use stories and examples to help create a picture that words alone fail to illustrate. Communicate the desired outcome graphically.
- Written job descriptions are critical to compliance. Don’t rely on an initialed checklist indicating the new hire has read and understood the information. Written communication alone does not address questions adequately and leaves the new hire without an appropriate venue for voicing questions or concerns. Take the time to review and expand the job description using real examples.
- Use a detailed description of a typical day or scenarios the new hire might encounter. Again, using a story format helps put the new hire into the picture.
- Describe situations outside the job description the new hire would be expected to handle. Give end-result expectations and examples.
- After giving a verbal and written description ask for feedback in the form of a summary–not a list or recitation–but a description of how they see the function and their role in making it happen. Ask how they would handle a situation and encourage details about the end results. Listen for any disconnects between their “idea” of the job and the actual expectations of the job. What is not being said is more important than what is being said.
- Ask for where they see their biggest challenge in their job. Ask for a strategy for achieving results. Do not let “hopefully, I can…” be an acceptable answer. Hope is not a strategy. Too frequently new hires are skilled at giving the appropriate answers but have no intentions or aptitude for actually doing the function.
Clearly communicating policy, processes and job function is a part of your job if you hire or manage people. Spend more time on this critical message upfront and enjoy fewer misunderstandings in the future.
If you want more tips you can use on the job be sure to get your FREE 6 part audio series by putting your name and email in the boxes to your upper right. Now, pick up a copy of Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work-What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up, for dozens of tips and techniques that can change your life.
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