Tag Archive for Confidence

Is Wavering Confidence Holding You Back from Success?

I just returned from a lunchtime networking meeting and was spurred to write this post. A lovely woman I was talking with, (who owns a business) was considering taking a corporate job for “security.” Funny, most corporate workers will tell you there is no security in their jobs. Security doesn’t actually equal success. Confidence equals success.

As we chatted further, I discovered that what she didn’t like to do is “sell.” Now I know many of you reading this post are nodding your head in agreement. Yet, selling is a part of any job (or conversation, for that matter) it’s just that we don’t view it that way. If your corporate title doesn’t include the word sales, account exec. or the like you think selling is not a part of your job.

But, it is! If you are the receptionist your job is to sell guests on the idea that they have walked into the right place to do business. If you work in the accounting department your job might include selling your competency to your boss, or selling a vendor on the benefits of paying on time, otherwise the vendor sells you on the idea that adding an extra 30 days to pay is in your best interest.

Are you getting the idea that selling happens all day long…we just don’t call it that, do we? In fact, I can hear it now, some of you are railing back at the very idea by exclaiming….’well, that’s not really selling!” Oh really?  Your six-year does a better job selling you on the idea that “five more minutes” is to your benefit than you do of selling her on the idea that going to bed is the better idea. Why? Your six-year old is confident in her request. She doesn’t waver and stop to wonder if asking is a good thing or a bad thing. No, she knows “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  (My mom’s favorite saying.)

So, here’s the thing. People need you and your services. They have problems (I can’t set up a website), challenges (I can’t breakthrough my limiting beliefs) and questions (who can I trust to fix my car?) And you have answers and solutions or you know who to refer them to. Frankly, sometimes I want to be “sold” on the idea that you are the right person for me to do business with. I want to know you are confident in your product or service. Confidence, as I’ve mentioned in previous articles, is what we notice first about someone.

Confidence sells.

I don’t intend to get into the “hard sell” versus the “consultative or soft sell” approach, I just want to stress that selling is what makes the world go around. And, yes, I believe getting skilled in selling for business can help make you confident.

What do you think?

Allie is a professional speaker and coach who helps others gain confidence through communication in order to be successful. Read more in her book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work or contact Allie at 407-313-4967 about a coaching program that might be right for you

“I Want to Change My Life but I Don’t Know Where to Begin!”

Have you ever thought, “I want to change my life, but I don’t know where to begin?”

You are not alone. Whether you’re stuck in your business, unhappy about a transition, confused about the next step you need to take to move forward or just undecided about your life path, rest assured others feel the same way.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can change…if you’re willing to change.

You found your way here because you want the pain to stop, you want to sleep at night, you want to move ahead. 

I’m a coach, not a physician or psychologist. Let me say this again…I’m a business coach not a mental health professional.  If you haven’t already seen your doctor to rule out serious depression or other physical or mental issues that will be your first action.

If you’re healthy but know you need to make changes in your life or business then let’s start now.

Step1. Get moving. No kidding. Get out of your seat , move your legs and arms, do some jumping jacks, take a hula hoop for a twirl or get out and take a brisk walk. Get your blood moving and your mind chatter quieted. Do it. This alone will shift your outlook, and your energy so you can begin to see new possibilities.

Step 2. Stand up. While you’re still standing from your jumping jacks, grab a writing utensil and start scribbling. Anything goes. No judging. This isn’t about art it’s about triggering your talents. Talents, passions and dreams that may have been buried, or that you have been denying or suppressing (maybe because someone pushed you in another direction in your life.)

Write it all down. Whatever comes up. Answer these questions. What do I love doing? What makes me lose track of time?  What did I love to do as a kid?

Step 3. Notice what’s coming up. All of it. Was it running around the playground as a kid, or digging for bugs, or reading anything you could get your hands on, or dancing, ball playing, writing…really pay attention. Some of you know and some of you have buried your passions so deep it will take a bit more work.

Do you love the work you do but are lost in details, or are you buried in administration and no longer doing what you love? Have circumstances in your life changed but your adaptability hasn’t? Keep writing until the emotions start to peek through…that’s when you know you’ve hit a nerve. Go–write now!

Step 4. If money were no object what would you do? Avoid making sweeping declarations such as, ” I want to own a spa.”  Dig deeper and ask yourself what you would love about owning a spa–is it managing day-to-day operations, or promotion, or handing customers and problems OR do you hear yourself saying things like, “I love the zen feeling?’ Because if it is the latter, my guess is that you want to GO to a spa but not own one. See what I’m getting at by this question?

Do you feel stuck because money prevents you from doing what brings you joy? Do you feel as though “your time” has passed? Move to step five to rekindle forgotten talents.

Step 5. Do some mind mapping. Even if you can’t be the thing you wanted to be as a kid, like a ballerina or pro ball player, do a bit of mind-mapping to see if there is a way to be involved in that passion.  Mind mapping is a way to get your brain firing on all cylinders.

Grab a large piece of paper and some color markers. Put a circle in the middle of the paper with your idea or thought….now draw lines out from that circle and jot down any ideas that come up. Think circular rather than linear…in-other-words, let it flow without judgment.

Start with these five small steps. That’s where you begin. Have fun. It’s a process but it shouldn’t be drudgery. Coach yourself for a bit but don’t linger in pain.


Ready for help? Then schedule a FREE Breakthrough Session and let me show you how to bust through the walls that are blocking your path to success. This session will help entrepreneurs or corporate refugees  who want some perspective on the next step to take and I’ll even kick in a significant nudge to get you moving.

If you know you need to make a change…and I’m guessing you do because you’re here then take the next step. 

The Breakthrough Session is a service I provide to help you look at things differently so you can make a decision about your life. That’s what you want isn’t it…to make a decision?

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Answer the questions first so we don’t waste time. 

Take the steps above and then leave a comment below on your results.

Avoid Misunderstandings at Work–Communicating with Confidence

Misunderstandings in the workplace are often the result of poor self-confidence. Confidence shows up first in your presence. In-other-words, your posture, the way you move, the way you stand and your energy.

What does all of this have to do with avoiding misunderstandings? The non-verbal message sent by slouchy shoulders, an unbalanced stance and a voice that lacks conviction can easily negate even the clearest verbal message…and that causes misunderstandings. Communicate like you mean it.

Consider the young manager who is not quite sure of herself as she attempts to give direction to her assistant. The request might be as simple as completing a report needed for a meeting. Her words might be clear  but her assistant might read her lack of confidence in her demeanor to mean…”if you have time to get it done.”

If you’re thinking this never happens, think again. The dog whisperer, Cesare Milan, tells dog owners that the conversation they are having in their in heads –positive or negative– translates to the energy a dog understands. The same thing occurs with humans, and no one knows this better than children. The mother who attempts to stop her child from an unwanted behavior by sweetly saying “no honey” in a voice that says  “I don’t really mean it” hardly gets the response she would like.

Communicating with confidence won’t eliminate all misunderstandings but it will help. What do you think?

For more communication tips pick up a copy of  Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work. You can get it by clicking the icon of the book on your right or at Amazon.con.

Communication, Inspiration, Motivation, Admiration, Gratitude

Presence, Engagement, Connection, Confidence, Interaction, Credibility, Attitude, Success

Leave me your thoughts below.