Okay, it’s not the nicest title but I bet it got your attention. More so, I bet it brought to mind a very specific person that would benefit from reading this post. Am I right?
If the person that came to mind is you–congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step to making a change.
Why is it so difficult for some people to say only what’s needed and no more?
Well, some people …
…fail to stop talking because they can’t handle silence.
… think more words will sell whatever it is they are selling including themselves.
… think they are so interesting and feel compelled to tell it all and then some.
… have no self-awareness. Yes, this is a big one.
… have little confidence in their abilities so talking covers up the fear of being asked a question he can’t answer.
You get the point, I could go on and on.
So, when do you shut up and how do you stop yourself once you’re on a rant? Read more
I need to immediately replace my air conditioning unit–yes, the whole shebang. Why the urgency? I’m in Orlando–can you say 85 degrees plus humidity. Lucky for me I’m a warm weather gal but even I have my limits.
So I’m waiting for the second of the 3 AC services I’ve been in contact with to show up and give me a quote. Which, of course, got me thinking about how businesses communicate…you knew I was going there right?
The first contender, whom I called directly, shows up a few minutes late but he did call a few minutes prior to our appointment time to let me know he was running behind. No points off…he called promptly and I know how things go in labor service.
He explains everything and calls me to come downstairs Read more
Nothing makes me crazier than knowing the truth about something and choosing to dismiss it.
Decades ago, I worked as a part of a merchandising/design team for a women’s sportswear company. As we developed designs for each new season we were required to present them to the president and sales manager for critique and “adoption.” In fact, the meetings were called adoption meetings! In essence, it meant your “job” was on the line each week. No matter how well we defended our choices of fabric, pattern and style, decisions were often made for what seemed like ridiculous reasons.
But this one time, the president uttered a statement that made my jaw drop. He said, “We know it’s the right thing to do–but we can’t do it.” Honestly, I no longer recall what he was referring to–but it doesn’t really matter.
Of course, what he meant was…”We know it’s the right thing to do, but we are ‘CONSCIOUSLY AND DELIBERATELY CHOOSING NOT TO DO IT!”
The thing was that there wasn’t anything stopping him from doing the right thing, he simply choose not to. This meant that everything done in relation to this decision was FALSE. A LIE. A SHAM. And that just pissed me off to no end.
And that is how I feel when someone is given a piece of truth about their life purpose and then chooses to ignore it and proceed rapidly in the opposition direction. As a coach, I’ve seen this happen time and again.
If you want to be living in your purpose, first find out what it is if you don’t know, and then proceed Consciously and Deliberately along your path and honor your truth. It will make your life so much easier and happier.
If you don’t know what your purpose is I invite to get your hands analyzed now…here’s how: Hand Analysis Now!
Every time I hear this term it makes my teeth hurt. What the heck does work-life balance mean anyway?
My work life and and life-life is all the same, BUT it doesn’t mean I allow others to intrude in my life willy-nilly. If that’s the issue you’re dealing with then you don’t need “work-life balance” you need a back-bone!
Seriously, if you choose to work for a person or organization where you know you’re giving your life away, frankly, I have no sympathy for you. But, if your understanding of privacy parameters at work doesn’t include “contact me during my nephew’s bris” then speak up. Have the conversation to confirm your understanding of when you are available and when you aren’t.
Now, if you work for yourself then you are in control even when you think you aren’t. But..but…but…yeah, yeah, I can hear it now. If I don’t take my customer’s call then I’ll miss their business. Really? Really? If that’s what you believe then that’s what you’ll get…customer’s that take you for granted and don’t see your value. You control this to the extent that you value yourself.
Think about it. If you set the example for the type of life you want to live then that’s the client you’ll attract. I bet if you think back to the last customer that canceled on you…it was the one that wanted to be “the exception to the rule.” You know, the one that always asked for an extra discount even after you’ve given them a special accommodation. It’s the client that seems to always have an excuse, or runs late, or calls you at all hours.
Grow a backbone. It will change your life. I know I’m going to hear comments on this one.
If you still aren’t sure what your life or life purpose is, well that’s a whole other story, but if that’s the case join me for Reinvention Intervention: 5 Really Simple and Smart Steps to Relaunch Your Life teleseminar course. Starts March 15.
I taped my segment for Lifetime Television’s–The Balancing Act, yesterday. Great fun!
My host, Beth Troutman, is smart and vivacious–an excellent communicator who clearly loves what she does for a living. (And, yes–she’s quite beautiful in person.) She made my interview seem like an intimate conversation between girlfriends and I’m hoping that’s what it looks like in the final production.
We talked about my book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work, and why misunderstandings and the lack of honest communication (especially inner or self conversation) may be the source of so many unhappy, frustrated workers. A recent Parade poll showed that 61% of the people who responded would not make the same career choice if they had the opportunity to do it all over again. Sad statistic.
It’s why I know there is a need for Reinvention Interventions–we need to be living and doing our purpose in the world–just like Beth.
It’s not too late to join me for Reinvention Intervention: 5 Really Smart and Simple Steps to Relaunch Your Life. This 5 week teleseminar course starts Tuesday, March 15 and you can still attend at an amazingly low price. The bonuses alone make this worth attending. Read more here: Reinvention Intervention Teleseminar.
My experience with everyone I met at The Balancing Act, from the make-up artist, to the camera crew to the producer (and everyone in between) was friendly and professional, making the entire experience a memorable one. Thank you all.
The segment will air sometime in April so stay tuned for updates.
Unclear communication and workplace misunderstandings can lead to a loss of productivity, money, clients or worse. Clear communication is the benchmark of a good office and tops the lists of best business practices with a capital “C”.
The clear communication implementation process begins when a new hire joins your team. As a manager, it is your job to make the person Read more
It always helps to have a quick formula that’s easy to remember, easy to post where you can see it and easy to implement. In touchy communication situations when emotions might thwart clear thinking try these 3 steps:
1. Look – Observe the pace, voice, eye-contact and posture of your listener. Pay attention to emotions, intentions, and any mental or physical distractions. Match and step it down if emotions are high.
2. Adjust – Shift your style to communicate in the way your listener likes to communicate. A small adjustment now saves time, money and effort later.
3. Verify – Verify that the translation and comprehension of your message matches your intention. (and be honest about your intention-is it aligned to your highest self?)
Ready for more tips you can use? Just enter your name and email in the boxes to your upper right and get FREE Instant Access to your 6-Part Audio Series – The Power of Effective Communication now. Go. 6 short audios that can change the way you communicate. or CLICK HERE
It’s wise to do a self appraisal of your communication abilities at least once a year. Your passport to higher ranks at your workplace (in addition to hard work) is your ability to communication well. So, as you do a yearly appraisal of your financial assets conduct an analysis of where you score on the communication metrics and which aspects need you attention this year. What better time than now to start on this and move ahead than the month of February?
What is Effective Communication and Where Do You Stand?
Communicating effectively at the workplace requires your ability to connect with and get along with others. People may have a different opinion of you because you might not be fitting into their scope of things. It can be argued both ways on whose fault is it but this would be a good opportunity to ask yourself how you are being perceived by others. After all, communication is a two way process, and you might be surprised to learn that you ward off others.
Effective communication starts with a self appraisal of ones communication needs and is built upon a continuum of learning. Its time to start now or else you might be on your own and all alone, for years at your work place. Not a fun situation to be in.
Your tone of voice, your mannerisms and your volume while speaking send one loud message when your are communicating. Do you speak with matching volume and pace as others? Do you say things that cause people to react negatively or to visible recoil? Do you stand too close or too far away when speaking to colleagues, bosses or customers? Do you respond appropriately to questions? Do you interrupt conversations with self-serving comments or comments unrelated to the topic? Do you interject with unsolicited advice? Answering these questions takes a degree of self-awareness. Self-awareness is critical to likability. Yearly communication self appraisals need you to ask these questions.
If you are wondering about your ability to communicate, connect and listen effectively then I invite you to go to claim your FREE 6 Part Audio Course “The Power of Effective Communication” and Listening Skills Assessment. Just fill in your name and email in the box on the right. And, don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Get it at Amazon.com