Communicating at work often resembles a sitcom where coworkers are characters and the story is driven by misunderstandings. Every sitcom from I Love Lucy to Seinfeld to Modern Family are great examples of misunderstandings resulting in humor and a tidy ending.
In reality, misunderstanding with the characters (I mean co-workers) you work with often doesn’t end with a happy conclusion. The good news is that your coworkers may be identifiable as the characters in a good story. Once you get to know them, you’ll be able to anticipate a certain amount of predictable behavior. Think Seinfeld’s Kramer–you always expect his cockamamie logic to some mundane situation.
So how does this help you? Well, learning how to talk these character types (or communication styles) will help you get your point across more effectively so that cooperation and collaboration becomes the norm rather than the exception.
Ask these questions and notice these distinctions and shift your approach, and your chances of getting cooperation increases.
1. What motivates them?
2. What do they seek?
3. What do they fear?
4. What is important to them?
5. How do they behave under stress?
Create a game for yourself and see if you can created a profile of each of the people you work with and for–and then decide how you need to shift your behavior to connect with them.
What’s your experience?
This post is an excerpt from Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Order your copy today and learn more about behavior styles.
When giving negative feedback keep in mind the type of feedback you are providing:
* Is it to find a solution to a disagreement?
* Is it directions or information to shift a project that is going off course?
* Is it to express dissatisfaction concerning work, behavior, or productivity?
Asking these questions and making the distinction helps you keep focused on the response and behavior you are seeking. It’s easy to get distracted or go off course especially when your listener starts defending his position.
Try it. Leave your comments.
*This tip comes from my forthcoming book,“Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-Up! Watch for it.
Your non-verbal communication is more powerful than your words–when the two are not aligned. If you want your words to be more influential, to carry more weight and authority then you must make certain your non-verbal message is congruent with your verbal message.
Here is one tip for using non-verbal communication more effectively:
In low-risk conversations your non-verbal message i.e., your body language and the sound of your voice, naturally support your words. You sparkle, smile and stand straighter when you’re elated and slump and frown when you are not. But, there are times when you want to appear confident when you are not feeling confident. If you ignore your body and voice relying only on your words your body will betray you every time. To match the two, breath from your belly, straighten your back and relax your jaw, this prevents your voice from sounding pinched and your body from appearing timid. This posture will send a positive message to your mind and you’ll begin to feel as confident as your words.
Try it and let me know.
Copyright 2010 Allie Casey
Excerpt from my forthcoming book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-up
Distractions are a major cause of misunderstandings during a conversation. Help your listener by removing as many obstacles blocking the path to your message. You won’t be able to control internal filters such as mental or emotional instability, but you can be aware of physical distractions such as illness, hunger or fatigue if you’re observant, present and aware. Obvious anxiety or fear can be lessened by letting your listener know that you are aware of those emotions.
Help remove language barriers by speaking clearly, enunciating and avoiding excess words. Move to a different location if noise or visual distractions are present.
Copyright 2010 Allie Casey
Excerpt from Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-up!
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