Tag Archive for Allie Casey
It’s difficult to keep your cool in an emotionally-charged conversation without saying something you’ll regret.
Consider the long term impact of your words. What result will occur moments after your conversation? Will the results last more than a few moments? What about in a year from now? You’ll discover that some conversations didn’t need to happen at all–but don’t make that an excuse for not having the ones that do.
Thinking about the long term consequences allows you to put things into perspective. And, perspective goes a long way towards guiding the tone, words, and intention of your communication.
Copyright 2010 Allie Casey
Excerpt from the forthcoming book —Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-up
When giving negative feedback keep in mind the type of feedback you are providing:
* Is it to find a solution to a disagreement?
* Is it directions or information to shift a project that is going off course?
* Is it to express dissatisfaction concerning work, behavior, or productivity?
Asking these questions and making the distinction helps you keep focused on the response and behavior you are seeking. It’s easy to get distracted or go off course especially when your listener starts defending his position.
Try it. Leave your comments.
*This tip comes from my forthcoming book, “Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-Up! Watch for it.
Distractions are a major cause of misunderstandings during a conversation. Help your listener by removing as many obstacles blocking the path to your message. You won’t be able to control internal filters such as mental or emotional instability, but you can be aware of physical distractions such as illness, hunger or fatigue if you’re observant, present and aware. Obvious anxiety or fear can be lessened by letting your listener know that you are aware of those emotions.
Help remove language barriers by speaking clearly, enunciating and avoiding excess words. Move to a different location if noise or visual distractions are present.
Copyright 2010 Allie Casey
Excerpt from Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say it and When to Shut-up!
Sometimes giving positive feedback is as challenging as giving negative feedback. The difficulty is sounding positive and specific not just enthusiastic and generic. Everyone is in the position to offer “gift-giving phrases”–boss to employee, co-worker to co-worker, salesperson to customer, parent to child, spouses, partners and so on.
Here are a few gift-giving phrases: (be specific with the details)
- You really made a difference by ___( sharing your expertise, pitching in to help…)
- I’m impressed with your____( ability to handle angry customers, insight into this project…)
- You got my attention with___( your interpretation of the research…)
- You can be proud of yourself for___(handling that misunderstanding with diplomacy….)
- One of the things I enjoy most about you is___(your ability to make others feel good…)
Share your own gift-giving phrases below.
Want more communication tips you can use immediately? First, put your name and email in the boxes in the upper right and get your Free 6 part audio series on communication. Second, pick up a copy of Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work-What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Lastly, give someone a gift today by using one of the phrases above. You’ll make the world a better place.
To get your FREE 6-part Audio program – The Power of Effective Communication just put your name and email int the box to your upper right (privacy respected) or go to http://www.communicationskillsuccess.com
Sometimes it helps to have a quick formula that’s easy to remember, easy to post where you can see it and easy to implement. In touchy communication situations when emotions might thwart clear thinking try these 3 steps:
1. Observation – Observe the pace, voice, eye-contact and posture of your listener. Pay attention to emotions, intentions, and any mental or physical distractions. Match and step it down if emotions are high.
2. Adaptation – Shift your style to communicate in the way your listener likes to communicate. A small adjustment now saves time, money and effort later.
3. Confirmation – Verify that the translation and comprehension of your message matches your intention. (and be honest about your intention-is it aligned to your highest self?)
Ready for more tips you can use? Just enter your name and email in the boxes to your upper right and get FREE Instant Access to your 6-Part Audio Series – The Power of Effective Communication now. Go. 6 short audios that can change the way you communicate. or CLICK HERE