Communicating at work often resembles a sitcom where coworkers are characters and the story is driven by misunderstandings. Every sitcom from I Love Lucy to Seinfeld to Modern Family are great examples of misunderstandings resulting in humor and a tidy ending.
In reality, misunderstanding with the characters (I mean co-workers) you work with often doesn’t end with a happy conclusion. The good news is that your coworkers may be identifiable as the characters in a good story. Once you get to know them, you’ll be able to anticipate a certain amount of predictable behavior. Think Seinfeld’s Kramer–you always expect his cockamamie logic to some mundane situation.
So how does this help you? Well, learning how to talk these character types (or communication styles) will help you get your point across more effectively so that cooperation and collaboration becomes the norm rather than the exception.
Ask these questions and notice these distinctions and shift your approach, and your chances of getting cooperation increases.
1. What motivates them?
2. What do they seek?
3. What do they fear?
4. What is important to them?
5. How do they behave under stress?
Create a game for yourself and see if you can created a profile of each of the people you work with and for–and then decide how you need to shift your behavior to connect with them.
What’s your experience?
This post is an excerpt from Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Order your copy today and learn more about behavior styles.
Asking questions can be one of the best ways to enhance a conversation, but the wrong questions can actually hinder conversation. Not all questions are created equal! Open-ended questions are friendlier and more effective than closed-ended questions. They usually start with “What” or “How”.
Here are some examples of how to change closed-ended questions into open-ended questions:
Instead of “Did you like it?” you could ask, “What did you like about it?” or “How did you like it?”
Ever try to get information from a team member or co-worker and received one or two word answers? Get more specific with the questions above.
Instead of “Are you upset?” you could ask “What’s bothering you?” or “Tell me more about how you are feeling?”
This works at home as well as at work.
Instead of “Would you like to do something else?” or you could ask “What would you like to do?” or “What would just make your day?”
Truly an invitation to share!
Instead of “Any questions?” you could ask “What questions do you have?” or “Who has the first question?”
Commit this one to memory!
Using open-ended questions requires effort. However, the effort is well worth it, especially in a tense situation. The next time you are in a tense conversation, make your questions open-ended, and watch the dynamic change. You will have a much better conversation, and the other person will appreciate your communication skills.
Mistake: Making assumptions. Do you frequently finish other people’s sentences? Are you guilty of using the phrase, “I know that already” before you have heard a complete sentence?
The message you send is, “I know more than you do, so let me help you out.” This is not only rude behavior, but it will brand you as a “know-it-all.”
Instead, listen patiently, ask clarifying questions, and paraphrase the speaker’s words. Seek to understand the speaker and their message before making suppositions. This positive behavior will brand you as an excellent communicator.
Copyright 2010 Allie Casey. Excerpt from my soon to be available book Misunderstood! the Fast Guide to Communicating at Work-What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. If you haven’t received your FREE 6-part audio series – The Power of Effective Communication” then get it now. Just enter your name and email in the boxes on the upper right for instant access.
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