Motivating employees, especially during economic downturns, requires an empathic approach. Or, as I prefer to call it—the “connecting your heart-to-your-head approach.” The pressure of too-much-work-to-be-done with too few people often causes a low level response to the threat of job loss as a stimulus for more production. Simply, their emotional well is dry and any increase in productivity is short-lived. Threats don’t work.

Managers expect employees to be self-motivated and to a degree that should be the case. Self-motivation is the ability to get things done without being directed by others. But, this does not absolve a manager from providing the reason employees should be working or behaving in a particular way. The best way is to show employees how their role is connected to something bigger than their job tasks.

The more removed an employee is from the ultimate consumer or beneficiary the more difficult it is to motivate employees to see beyond their job tasks. This can result in employees defending their job, being stingy with sharing information, or a demonstrating a lack of cooperation with other departments. The loss of connection to both internal and external customers constricts work flow and squashes creative solutions.

For example, accounting may never have any direct exposure to the ultimate consumer and hold strict that rules, policies and terms be executed “by the book.” Sales people may feel stymied by accounting’s lack of flexibility when they are attempting to help a customer find a creative way to afford their products or services. On-the-other-hand, sales people may not have contact with a customer at the time of delivery when delivery people may feel anger towards sales people for ordering products that don’t fit a customer’s home, business or needs. And around it goes.

An employee’s exposure to the bigger picture opens up the pathway for inspired solutions to emerge and greater empathy for customers and co-workers. As a sales person and a manager, I learned to handle problems before they began and to call attention to details that would help my customers because of exposure to all the people connected to my job.

Spending a day with the delivery team was an invaluable learning experience when I worked in the home furnishings business. Not only did I learn how to load a truck, what paperwork needed to be completed and signed, what physical challenges it required but also what questions, concerns and reactions customers had at the time of delivery. And, I learned a whole lot about what can go wrong!

This experience taught me to highlight to customers the written instructions of what to expect on the day of delivery, who to contact and in what order, if there were problems. What they could expect from the delivery people and what not to expect. It cemented my relationship with the distribution center’s staff and with the drivers because I experienced their jobs first hand. It connected me to customers and co-workers at a deeper level.

I was motivated to sell more when I saw delight on the faces of clients when products they purchased enhanced their lives or solved a problem. I was motivated to spend a few extra minutes filling out paperwork that made it easier for accounting to finish reports (reports I ultimately used to do my job) and I was motivated to help co-workers finish projects so they too could please a customer. When things did go wrong I had a greater understanding of what my customers were feeling, what frustrations drivers, co-workers or direct reports were facing and how to uncover the real issues because I had this greater awareness. My heart was now connected to my head.

The “something bigger” is the gratitude of the ultimate consumer or beneficiary.  It’s the acknowledgment that you have made a difference—to something or someone. Get your people connected if you want your team to be self-motivated.

What are your thoughts?

Read more tips on managing and customer service in Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. You can get it at Amazon.

Presence, Engagement, Connection, Confidence, Interaction, Credibility, Attitude, Success

Leave me your thoughts below.

Communicating at work often resembles a sitcom where coworkers are characters and the story is driven by misunderstandings. Every sitcom from I Love Lucy to Seinfeld to Modern Family are great examples of misunderstandings resulting in humor and a tidy ending.

In reality, misunderstanding with the characters (I mean co-workers) you work with often doesn’t end with a happy conclusion. The good news is that your coworkers may be identifiable as the characters in a good story. Once you get to know them, you’ll be able to anticipate a certain amount of predictable behavior.  Think Seinfeld’s Kramer–you always expect his cockamamie logic to some mundane situation.

So how does this help you? Well, learning how to talk these character types (or communication styles) will help you get your point across more effectively so that cooperation and collaboration becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Ask these questions and notice these distinctions and shift your approach, and your chances of getting cooperation increases.

1. What motivates them?

2. What do they seek?

3. What do they fear?

4. What is important to them?

5. How do they behave under stress?

Create a game for yourself and see if you can created a profile of each of the people you work with and for–and then decide how you need to shift your behavior to connect with them.

What’s your experience?

This post is an excerpt from Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up.  Order your copy today and learn more about behavior styles.

Active and attentive listening is not always easy to do-but it is critical to success.  Poor listeners can damage their reputation and hurt their careers. Today I want to talk a bit about making assumptions vs. really listening.

You might be making assumptions if you answer yes or sometimes to the following questions: Do you frequently finish other people’s sentences? Do you use phrases such as “I already know that” before your have heard a complete sentence?

If you do the message you send is, “I know more than you do, so let me help you out.” This is not only rude (and arrogant) but it will brand you as a know-it-all.

Instead listen patiently, ask clarifying questions, and paraphrase the speaker’s words to ensure you really do comprehend what they are saying and intending. Seek to understand the speaker before making suppositions. This positive behavior will brand you as an excellent communicator.

What do think?

Excerpt from the book Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Pick up your copy at Amazon today.

Communication is more than just your words. Your voice also adds to the  meaning of your words. The message the sound of your voice sends is so powerful it may override your actual words.

Consider the words, “everything’s okay.” This phrase can mean a variety of things depending on how you say it:

“Everything’s okay.” Reassuring or soothing.

“Everything’s O-KAAY.”  Sarcastic.  As in, ” I told you already!”

“Uh…everything’s uh…okayyyyy.”  Unsure or still checking.

Everything okay? a question.

What makes each statement be perceived differently are the three characteristics of the voice: pitch, volume and quality. Maximizing these will make you a more powerful and confident communicator.

You can learn to control all three voice characteristics. Here are a few tips:

Pitch: How high or low your voice is. Talk in a high pitched voice, as if you are speaking to an infant, and you’ll notice your voice is a bit hollow and thin. This happens because you are speaking from inside your mouth.  Drop to a low voice and you can feel the sound coming from deeper in your throat.  The best pitch for normal conversation is the sound that comes when you breathe fully from abdomen causing your diaphragm to expand.  When you are nervous or fearful your voice may sound high or pinched because you’re breathing from the top of the lungs.  Take a breath.

Volume: This is how loud your voice is. Again, the volume must come from your diaphragm and not your throat. Throat volume sounds like shouting not confidence. If people continuously ask you to speak up you’ll want to increase your volume, otherwise you may notice others ignoring you. You can practice increasing your volume by “pushing” someone across the room by the volume of your voice. Your practice partner can only move backward if  they feel your voice moving them. Try it. You’ll begin to hear what a powerful voice sounds like  even though it may sound too loud at first.

Quality: This is the richness, emotion and meaning your voice sends. Pitch and volume adds to the quality but so does your feelings and overall health.  Notice the difference the quality of your voice has when you’re feeling sad as opposed to when you’re feeling on top of the world. This is why it is so important to smile when you are talking on the phone–people can tell!

Put the sound of your voice to work today!

Don’t forget to pick up a copy of “Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up. Everything you need for workplace communication at your fingertips. Get it here.

Asking questions can be one of the best ways to enhance a conversation, but the wrong questions can actually hinder conversation. Not all questions are created equal! Open-ended questions are friendlier and more effective than closed-ended questions. They usually start with “What” or “How”.

Here are some examples of how to change closed-ended questions into open-ended questions:

Instead of “Did you like it?” you could ask, “What did you like about it?” or “How did you like it?”

Ever try to get information from a team member or co-worker and received one or two word answers? Get more specific with the questions above.

Instead of “Are you upset?” you could ask “What’s bothering you?” or “Tell me more about how you are feeling?”

This works at home as well as at work.

Instead of “Would you like to do something else?” or you could ask “What would you like to do?” or “What would just make your day?”

Truly an invitation to share!

Instead of “Any questions?” you could ask “What questions do you have?” or “Who has the first question?”

Commit this one to memory!

Using open-ended questions requires effort. However, the effort is well worth it, especially in a tense situation. The next time you are in a tense conversation, make your questions open-ended, and watch the dynamic change. You will have a much better conversation, and the other person will appreciate your communication skills.

Get your copy of Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up - The bonus downloads are chock full of the critical communication answers you’ve been asking about. Get your book here!

Misunderstood!: The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up (Volume 1)

More Quick Tips from Misunderstood!: The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up (Volume 1)

More tips from Misunderstood!: The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up (Volume 1)

More quick tips from Misunderstood!: The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work–What to Say, How to Say It and When to Shut Up (Volume 1)