Archive for Coaching
Curious about Coaching But Afraid of What Might Happen?
Posted by: | CommentsI believe in coaching.
I’ve sought out coaching in every phase of my life. I think back to one of my very first coaches (when I was in my twenties) and can’t believe I actually did what she wanted me to do to get a raise. **
But I did it. Not only did I get a raise and a new title — I also got a car. I got a car when no one in my position got a car.
AND…I got the car I wanted, a sporty convertible, simply because I asked.
That wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gotten coached.
Good coaches make you do the things you probably don’t want to do, so you can be successful.
So really…there’s no reason not to give it a try.
That’s why I just created the “30 Minute Mentor” program. For people just like you.
Entrepreneurs, authors, service-based small biz owners, solo-preneurs, healers and other coaches.
We all need coaching.
We need it for clarity; to get perspective on a decision, to learn more about ourselves, to get answers to specific questions and for personal and professional development.
So what stops you?
Is it the fear that you’ll be sold into a long term program? The choice is always yours. I may solve the issue you have in a 30 minute session. Sometimes it’s all you need. A checkup of sorts. And then there are times you’ll desire more. But that’s your choice to make.
Is it the fear that you won’t click with the coach? Read More→
Speaking with Confidence – How to Get Valuable Feedback
Posted by: | CommentsThe most powerful communication tool you can learn is the ability to give a talk–a speech, a presentation, a pitch. Call it what you will but without this skill you will never feel that commanding confidence needed to sell your product, service, idea, or yourself in a way that gets others to believe in you and consequently buy in.
Speaking well is a learned skill. That’s the good news. The bad news is that you can’t learn it by reading about it. Sure reading can give you guidelines on creating an outline, controlling nervousness and confidence boosting tips but nothing trumps practicing out loud.
Confidence comes from owning your topic and ease on the platform and that’s where practice comes in.
Practice by joining Toastmasters.
Practice in front of a trusted friend.
Practice in front of your dog.
Practice in front of a camera.
Practice is the start of confidence building.
But practice isn’t the be all and end all. And here’s why–you may not know if you are practicing an ineffective speech!
It’s no different than practicing hoops but never knowing what to correct to get the ball in the basket.
Getting feedback that supports what you are doing right and suggestion for what to change if you want to be better in the next practice is essential. I learned this feedback technique as Like Best and Next Time or LBs and NTs. It supports a speaker by letting him or her know what is working now so it can be carried forward and gives suggestions for consideration to step up a presentation.
Give it a try by asking your reviewers to use the LB and NT technique.
Watch for my new coaching program for entrepreneurs who want to speak to sell their services. In the meantime pick up a copy of Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work. You can get it at here.
Artist, Entrepreneur, Coach, Author and Hand Analyst
Posted by: | CommentsWhen I was a kid I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I loved to color and sketch and make things from the big “Make It!” book my mom always had on hand. That book satisfied my curiosity about how things were made and it sparked my creativity…not to mention saving my mother’s sanity!
My curiosity about how things were made probably accounts for my passion for the act of sewing…the how-to part. (Some people sew but only because they like the end result not the process–but I loved both.)
I loved figuring out how I could use the least amount of fabric when laying out a pattern often getting a better yield than the suggested layout.
For me the “fun” part would be figuring out how to cut an “uneven” plaid so every seam of a pleated skirt would match perfectly. That’s just how my brain works.
This obsession with “figuring things out” showed up in my life in the oddest moments. I remember sitting in my office on the 34th floor looking north up 7th Avenue (in Manhattan) and watching an office building being built a few blocks uptown.
I was fascinated by how quickly progress was made and each day I walked into my office with great anticipation as to what would happen next.
But the one thing I couldn’t figure out was how the construction elevator rose above the floor that was being constructed before there even was a floor! It was like watching magic.
Finally, I could stand it no longer and broke down and called my father, a retired electrician. I said, “Pop, how do they get the elevator up when the floor isn’t even completed?”
He told me they build it as they go and explained the process.
“They build it as they go.” Seems like the same process we use to build a business. Build and add a new floor as you get a little further along. I know that’s what I have been doing.
You might have noticed these recent additions to my services: hand analysis and new coaching programs. It’s the build as you go philosophy.
I love hand analysis the same way I loved figuring out how to lay out a pattern or sew a besom pocket. There is a certain “eureka” at the end. The light bulb goes on and everything is “illuminated” as though you’ve never seen the very thing you’re looking at before.
That’s what hand analysis does. It “highlights” your innate talents and purpose. It adds a whole new layer of information that colors and adds definition and detail to an individual that may not have been “visible” before. Like holding a letter written in lemon juice over a heat source.
The message was always there…you just couldn’t see it until you had “the secret.”
Hand analysis reveals your purpose and the pattern that keeps showing up for you as a “stall” or a “wall” in front of your success. It’s the “secret” without actually being a clandestine process.
What I mean by that is that hand analysis is a repeatable process. It is not a predictive tool but a tool to help you understand yourself in the moment.
Couldn’t you use a little more light on your life purpose and your life lesson? Certainly it helped me.
Check out this April Showers Special Here: Hand Analysis for You.
Resisting What’s True for You
Posted by: | CommentsNothing makes me crazier than knowing the truth about something and choosing to dismiss it.
Decades ago, I worked as a part of a merchandising/design team for a women’s sportswear company. As we developed designs for each new season we were required to present them to the president and sales manager for critique and “adoption.” In fact, the meetings were called adoption meetings! In essence, it meant your “job” was on the line each week. No matter how well we defended our choices of fabric, pattern and style, decisions were often made for what seemed like ridiculous reasons.
But this one time, the president uttered a statement that made my jaw drop. He said, “We know it’s the right thing to do–but we can’t do it.” Honestly, I no longer recall what he was referring to–but it doesn’t really matter.
Of course, what he meant was…”We know it’s the right thing to do, but we are ‘CONSCIOUSLY AND DELIBERATELY CHOOSING NOT TO DO IT!”
The thing was that there wasn’t anything stopping him from doing the right thing, he simply choose not to. This meant that everything done in relation to this decision was FALSE. A LIE. A SHAM. And that just pissed me off to no end.
And that is how I feel when someone is given a piece of truth about their life purpose and then chooses to ignore it and proceed rapidly in the opposition direction. As a coach, I’ve seen this happen time and again.
If you want to be living in your purpose, first find out what it is if you don’t know, and then proceed Consciously and Deliberately along your path and honor your truth. It will make your life so much easier and happier.
If you don’t know what your purpose is I invite to get your hands analyzed now…here’s how: Hand Analysis Now!
Work-Life Balance? Are you Kidding Me?
Posted by: | CommentsEvery time I hear this term it makes my teeth hurt. What the heck does work-life balance mean anyway?
My work life and and life-life is all the same, BUT it doesn’t mean I allow others to intrude in my life willy-nilly. If that’s the issue you’re dealing with then you don’t need “work-life balance” you need a back-bone!
Seriously, if you choose to work for a person or organization where you know you’re giving your life away, frankly, I have no sympathy for you. But, if your understanding of privacy parameters at work doesn’t include “contact me during my nephew’s bris” then speak up. Have the conversation to confirm your understanding of when you are available and when you aren’t.
Now, if you work for yourself then you are in control even when you think you aren’t. But..but…but…yeah, yeah, I can hear it now. If I don’t take my customer’s call then I’ll miss their business. Really? Really? If that’s what you believe then that’s what you’ll get…customer’s that take you for granted and don’t see your value. You control this to the extent that you value yourself.
Think about it. If you set the example for the type of life you want to live then that’s the client you’ll attract. I bet if you think back to the last customer that canceled on you…it was the one that wanted to be “the exception to the rule.” You know, the one that always asked for an extra discount even after you’ve given them a special accommodation. It’s the client that seems to always have an excuse, or runs late, or calls you at all hours.
Grow a backbone. It will change your life. I know I’m going to hear comments on this one.
If you still aren’t sure what your life or life purpose is, well that’s a whole other story, but if that’s the case join me for Reinvention Intervention: 5 Really Simple and Smart Steps to Relaunch Your Life teleseminar course. Starts March 15.
Inner Communication is the Key to Reinvention
Posted by: | CommentsI believe that the most important conversation you can have is the one you have with yourself.
Have Some Fun!
In my new teleseminar series, “Reinvention Intervention – 5 Really Smart and Simple Steps for Relaunching Your Life”, I talk about the #1 thing that keeps you from living the life you want to live, keeps you from making timely decisions, and keeps you in a place of frustration.
So, what is it–you ask. It’s the failure to make a choice. A decision. Yup, it’s that simple. We live in limbo land and rationalize the end result of possibilities and create endless lists of pros and cons until we are blue in the face–but we never quite commit to a, well…a commitment.
I use that word purposely, because commitment tends to feel like a heavy yoke on our shoulders, weighing us down with responsibilities when in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Not making a decision is what weighs us down. Making a decision is freeing and liberating. Making a decision lifts the fog. Making a decision propels you forward.
If you’re serious about reinventing yourself, you are, my friend, going to have to make a decision. Probably a bunch of them…but, let’s start with one.
Making a decision is a declaration to move in a direction based on your bigger why. The “why” is the compelling reason to change that supersedes all others. It’s the single compelling force that allows you to forge ahead even when the cons seem to outweigh the pros.
And yet, this inner conversation is often the one we fail to initiate with ourselves because it means acknowledging that undefinable thing. That thing we call “gut” feeling or hunch or, if you are more enlightened…your intuition. It means listening very closely for the the truth and, that is indeed, scary.
Here’s the remedy for failure to decide: Put down the pen and paper and go talk a walk. Get out of your office or away from the kitchen table and engage your right brain. Play a game, play with your kids, play hoops, hula hoop, or potsy, frankly, I don’t care. Do anything but think logically.
And then, get quiet and listen to what you are feeling. Get beneath the chatter and you’ll find your feelings. Pay attention. Now, you’ll know what to do.
But, you know this is only the start to your reinvention – don’t you? If you’re living with a sick feeling in the pit of stomach because your life is passing quickly and you’re scared you’re never going to live a life that has meaning for you then join me for The Reinvention Intervention-5 Really Smart and Simple Steps to Relaunch Your Life Teleseminar Series. You’ll discover how to stop feeling afraid to step into your passions, gain the confidence to make decisions and create a map for the next phase of your life!
Is Wavering Confidence Holding You Back from Success?
Posted by: | CommentsI just returned from a lunchtime networking meeting and was spurred to write this post. A lovely woman I was talking with, (who owns a business) was considering taking a corporate job for “security.” Funny, most corporate workers will tell you there is no security in their jobs. Security doesn’t actually equal success. Confidence equals success.
As we chatted further, I discovered that what she didn’t like to do is “sell.” Now I know many of you reading this post are nodding your head in agreement. Yet, selling is a part of any job (or conversation, for that matter) it’s just that we don’t view it that way. If your corporate title doesn’t include the word sales, account exec. or the like you think selling is not a part of your job.
But, it is! If you are the receptionist your job is to sell guests on the idea that they have walked into the right place to do business. If you work in the accounting department your job might include selling your competency to your boss, or selling a vendor on the benefits of paying on time, otherwise the vendor sells you on the idea that adding an extra 30 days to pay is in your best interest.
Are you getting the idea that selling happens all day long…we just don’t call it that, do we? In fact, I can hear it now, some of you are railing back at the very idea by exclaiming….’well, that’s not really selling!” Oh really? Your six-year does a better job selling you on the idea that “five more minutes” is to your benefit than you do of selling her on the idea that going to bed is the better idea. Why? Your six-year old is confident in her request. She doesn’t waver and stop to wonder if asking is a good thing or a bad thing. No, she knows “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” (My mom’s favorite saying.)
So, here’s the thing. People need you and your services. They have problems (I can’t set up a website), challenges (I can’t breakthrough my limiting beliefs) and questions (who can I trust to fix my car?) And you have answers and solutions or you know who to refer them to. Frankly, sometimes I want to be “sold” on the idea that you are the right person for me to do business with. I want to know you are confident in your product or service. Confidence, as I’ve mentioned in previous articles, is what we notice first about someone.
Confidence sells.
I don’t intend to get into the “hard sell” versus the “consultative or soft sell” approach, I just want to stress that selling is what makes the world go around. And, yes, I believe getting skilled in selling for business can help make you confident.
What do you think?
Allie is a professional speaker and coach who helps others gain confidence through communication in order to be successful. Read more in her book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work or contact Allie at 407-313-4967 about a coaching program that might be right for you
“I Want to Change My Life but I Don’t Know Where to Begin!”
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever thought, “I want to change my life, but I don’t know where to begin?” You are not alone. Reinventing yourself is a hot topic these days, particularly with so many people in career transition.
But reinventing yourself doesn’t have to mean a huge transformation–it could mean simply shifting your outlook by putting more focus on the thing that makes your heart sing. And, if you aren’t sure what makes your toes tingle then it’s time to do some internal work. Not to worry–it’s fun work.
Knowing where to begin means knowing what you love, not just what you are good at doing.
Step1. Get moving. No kidding. Get out of your seat , move your legs and arms, do some jumping jacks or take a hula hoop f or a twirl. Get your blood moving and your mind chatter quieted. Do it.
Step 2. Don’t sit. While you’re still standing up from your jumping jacks, grab a writing utensil and start scribbling. Anything goes. No judging. This isn’t about art it’s about triggering your talents. Talents, passions and dreams that may have been buried, or that you have been denying or suppressing (maybe because someone pushed you in another direction in your life.)
Step 3. Notice what’s coming up. All of it. Was it running around the playground as a kid, or digging for bugs, or reading anything you could get your hands on, or dancing, ball playing, writing…really pay attention. Some of you know and some of you have buried your passions so deep it will take a bit more work
Step 4. If money were no object what would you do? Avoid making sweeping declarations such as, ” I want to own a spa.” Dig deeper and ask yourself what you would love about owning a spa–is it managing day-to-day operations, or promotion, or handing customers and problems OR do you hear yourself saying things like, “I love the zen feeling?’ Because if it is the latter, my guess is that you want to GO to a spa but not own one. See what I’m getting at?
Step 5. Even if you can’t be the thing you wanted to be as a kid, like a ballerina or pro ball player, do a bit of mind-mapping to see if there is a way to be involved in that passion.
Start with this work. That’s where you begin. Have fun. It’s a process but it shouldn’t be drudgery.
What’s your thoughts?
If you are really serious about reinventing yourself, then run (don’t walk) over to 30 Minute Mentor and get some coaching for just a $1 a minute. Really–go now! www.30minutementor.com
Best Year Yet! – Part One by Sheri McConnell
Posted by: | Commentsby Sheri McConnell on Thursday, January 13, 2011 at 6:50pm
Success often comes to those that take a series of some times very easy steps… what can make the journey difficult is when you look too far in front of you and get overwhelmed or paralyzed. Sound familiar? Here are 5 of the 10 steps that I find really powerful for my clients. Note that some of them require physical work and may take more time but are easy mentally. While others can happen in a mere moment and can be much harder because they require a mental shift.
Remove clutter for clarity. If you start here first and organize parts of your life, you will be far more productive. Bring in a 3rd party if needed and clear away the old life to make room for the new.
Two – Buy Simple Planning Tools
My favorite CEO planning tools are a giant Write On Wipe Off Board (my idea of being in Nerd heaven) and large Post-it Notes. Both are for planning new ways to work the M’s. Marketing, Money, and Mindsets. I use these tools to work on my own business and my clients’ businesses. For a wall sized board option, try this large inexpensive board you can get at Office Depot.
Three – Plan Now to Step Up and Step In
Here is my method for planning… note I have 4 kids, two weenie dogs, and a team to manage. Having so much on my plate has forced me to cut through to the highest ROI strategies. This method is all you need to get going and get in the trenches, don’t over think everything. People just want to take some steps with you and accomplish small successes one at a time. Get your brilliance out there so they can get started and let them grow while you grow.
Plan what to do next in your business using this method:
* Pick a theme for the next six months or for the year. Mine this year is: Speaking at Events, last year it was: Do More PR on TV and Radio) I have always found that when I am focused on one theme and take small steps toward that theme, the universe listens because I am very clear. When I am confused, the universe has absolutely no idea what to give me.
* Loosely map out the big projects and events for the year. I do this across the bottom of my big Write On Wipe Off Board. The open months tell me where I have room for the new creations!
* Now, move and take the next 3 steps in front of you. Speed is money, delegate and choose steps with a higher ROI, and you get to higher profits a lot quicker. Need help, hire a mentor or coach to help you sift through your decisions so you can learn how to do this on your own.
Four – Know the Three Things That Most Often Get in The Way of Your Dreams
Over the years, I have found that the following three areas are the most common areas that hold us back. I give them to you today as a gift so that your blind spots can be illuminated.
* Indecisiveness – Decisions are always forward movement even if they end up being the wrong decisions.
* Slow Speed – Repeat after me. “I am liquid, I am not rigid and I flow with my business eroding away all obstacles.”
* Faith In Yourself – This is the number one reason we don’t make decisions and move to slow. You have to believe it before you can achieve it. The best coach in the world can not help you believe. This happens within you.
Five – Commit to Achieve and then Recommit
Once you have developed faith in yourself and in your own abilities (and there is no other way to do this but to dive into the trenches and do it), then you only need to commit to achieve each goal you set. Once we have faith in ourselves, business becomes a rinse n repeat process… aka, a behavior of you committing and recommitting over and over again.
Join us again next week for steps Six – Ten.
Sheri McConnell is the CEO of the Smart Women’s Institute of Entrepreneurial Learning (formerly the National Assn of Women Writers-2001). You can visit Sheri, access her free article archive, and grab lots of free stuff at http://www.smartwomeninstitute.com/. Sheri lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, their four children, a weenie dog, and three hermit crabs.
Information Contact Allie at 407-313-4967
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