Archive for Coaching Articles

Want to Change Your Life but Don’t Know How? Try Self Coaching

If you find yourself asking the question…What now? or How do I make changes? you might want to pay attention to your inner voice.  Is your decision making hesitant? Is your path clear? Is your mission your motivator? If not, you’ll need to start there.

When your ‘big why’ is your big motivator then decision making is easier. Life is really nothing more than a series of decisions. but, decision making, especially when you have no clear goal, path or compass to lead you, can be taxing to the body, mind and soul.

Try operating as though you have blinders on. For instance, in an emergency your mind focuses on just one thing…the next thing that needs to happen! You don’t wander off wondering what to have for lunch or whether or not you should stop and tweet–NO–you just do the next thing in front of you. (True, you may not always do the best thing but you usually do the best you can.)

Creating a  sense of urgency prevents Read more

Curious about Coaching But Afraid of What Might Happen?

I believe in coaching.

I’ve sought out coaching in every phase of my life. I think back to one of my very first coaches (when I was in my twenties)  and can’t believe I actually did what she wanted me to do to get a raise. **

But I did it. Not only did I get a raise and a new title — I also got Read more

Say It to Sell It Now! Free Tutorial #3

Click >>Say It to Sell It Now!

Speaking with Confidence – How to Get Valuable Feedback

The most powerful communication tool you can learn is the ability to give a talk–a speech, a presentation, a pitch. Call it what you will but without this skill you will never feel that commanding confidence needed to sell your product, service, idea, or yourself in a way that gets others to believe in you and consequently buy in.

Speaking well is a learned skill. That’s the good news. The bad news is Read more

Artist, Entrepreneur, Coach, Author etc.

When I was a kid I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I loved to color and sketch and make things from the big “Make It!” book my mom always had on hand. That book satisfied my curiosity about how things were made and it sparked my creativity…not to mention saving my mother’s sanity!

My curiosity about how things were made probably accounts for my passion for the act of sewing…the how-to part.  (Some people sew but only because they like the end result not the process–but I loved both.)

I loved figuring out how I could use the least amount of fabric when laying out a pattern often getting a better yield than the suggested layout.

For me the “fun” part would be figuring out how to cut an “uneven” plaid so every seam of a pleated skirt would match perfectly. That’s just how my brain works.

This obsession with “figuring things out” showed up in my life in the oddest moments. Read more

Resisting What’s True for You

Nothing makes me crazier than knowing the truth about something and choosing to dismiss it.

Decades ago, I worked as a part of a merchandising/design team for a women’s sportswear company. As we developed designs for each new season we were required to present them to the president and sales manager for critique and “adoption.” In fact, the meetings were called adoption meetings! In essence, it meant your “job” was on the line each week. No matter how well we defended our choices of fabric, pattern and style, decisions were often made for what seemed like ridiculous reasons.

But this one time, the president uttered a statement that made my jaw drop. He said, “We know it’s the right thing to do–but we can’t do it.” Honestly, I no longer recall what he was referring to–but it doesn’t really matter.

Of course, what he meant was…”We know it’s the right thing to do, but we are ‘CONSCIOUSLY AND DELIBERATELY CHOOSING NOT TO DO IT!”

The thing was that there wasn’t anything stopping him from doing the right thing, he simply choose not to. This meant that everything done in relation to this decision was FALSE. A  LIE. A SHAM. And that just pissed me off to no end.

And that is how I feel when someone is given a piece of truth about their life purpose and then chooses to ignore it and proceed rapidly in the opposition direction. As a coach, I’ve seen this happen time and again.

If you want to be living in your purpose, first find out what it is if you don’t know, and then proceed Consciously and Deliberately along your path and honor your truth. It will make your life so much easier and happier.

If you don’t know what your purpose is I invite to get your hands analyzed now…here’s how: Hand Analysis Now!

 

Work-Life Balance? Are you Kidding Me?

Every time I hear this term it makes my teeth hurt. What the heck does work-life balance mean anyway?

My work life and and life-life is all the same, BUT it doesn’t mean I allow others to intrude in my life willy-nilly. If that’s the issue you’re dealing with then you don’t need “work-life balance” you need a back-bone!

Seriously, if you choose to work for a person or organization where you know you’re giving your life away, frankly, I have no sympathy for you. But, if your understanding of  privacy parameters at work doesn’t include “contact me during my nephew’s bris” then speak up. Have the conversation to confirm your understanding of when you are available and when you aren’t.

Now, if you work for yourself then you are in control even when you think you aren’t. But..but…but…yeah, yeah, I can hear it now. If I don’t take my customer’s call then I’ll miss their business. Really? Really? If  that’s what you believe then that’s what you’ll get…customer’s that take you for granted and don’t see your value.  You control this to the extent that you value yourself.

Think about it. If you set the example for the type of life you want to live then that’s the client you’ll attract. I bet if you think back to the last customer that canceled  on you…it was the one that wanted to be “the exception to the rule.” You know, the one that always asked for an extra discount even after you’ve given them a special accommodation. It’s the client that seems to always have an excuse, or runs late, or calls you at all hours.

Grow a backbone. It will change your life. I know I’m going to hear comments on this one.

If you still aren’t sure what your life or life purpose is, well that’s a whole other story, but if that’s the case join me for Reinvention Intervention: 5 Really Simple and Smart Steps to Relaunch Your Life teleseminar course.  Starts March 15.

 

Inner Communication is the Key to Reinvention

I believe that the most important conversation you can have is the one you have with yourself.

Have Some Fun!

In my new teleseminar series,“Reinvention Intervention – 5 Really Smart and Simple Steps for Relaunching Your Life”, I talk about the #1 thing that keeps you from living the life you want to live, keeps you from making timely decisions, and keeps you in a place of frustration.

So, what is it–you ask. It’s the failure to make a choice. A decision. Yup, it’s that simple. We live in limbo land and rationalize the end result of possibilities and create endless lists of pros and cons until we are blue in the face–but we never quite commit to a, well…a commitment.

I use that word purposely, because commitment tends to feel like a heavy yoke on our shoulders, weighing us down with responsibilities when in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Not making a decision is what weighs us down. Making a decision is freeing and liberating. Making a decision lifts the fog. Making a decision propels you forward.

If you’re serious about reinventing yourself, you are, my friend, going to have to make a decision. Probably a bunch of them…but, let’s start with one.

Making a decision is a declaration to move in a direction based on your bigger why. The “why” is the compelling reason to change that supersedes all others. It’s the single compelling force that allows you to forge ahead even when the cons seem to outweigh the pros.

And yet, this inner conversation is often the one we fail to initiate with ourselves because it means acknowledging that undefinable thing. That thing we call “gut” feeling or hunch or, if you are more enlightened…your intuition. It means listening very closely for the the truth and, that is indeed, scary.

Here’s the remedy for failure to decide: Put down the pen and paper and go talk a walk. Get out of your office or away from the kitchen table and engage your right brain. Play a game, play with your kids, play hoops, hula hoop, or potsy, frankly, I don’t care. Do anything but think logically.

And then, get quiet and listen to what you are feeling. Get beneath the chatter and you’ll find your feelings. Pay attention. Now, you’ll know what to do.

But, you know this is only the start to your reinvention – don’t you? If you’re living with a sick feeling in the pit of stomach because your life is passing quickly and you’re scared you’re never going to live a life that has meaning for you then join me for a Breakthrough Session. You’ll discover how to stop feeling afraid to step into your passions and decide on your next step.

Is Wavering Confidence Holding You Back from Success?

I just returned from a lunchtime networking meeting and was spurred to write this post. A lovely woman I was talking with, (who owns a business) was considering taking a corporate job for “security.” Funny, most corporate workers will tell you there is no security in their jobs. Security doesn’t actually equal success. Confidence equals success.

As we chatted further, I discovered that what she didn’t like to do is “sell.” Now I know many of you reading this post are nodding your head in agreement. Yet, selling is a part of any job (or conversation, for that matter) it’s just that we don’t view it that way. If your corporate title doesn’t include the word sales, account exec. or the like you think selling is not a part of your job.

But, it is! If you are the receptionist your job is to sell guests on the idea that they have walked into the right place to do business. If you work in the accounting department your job might include selling your competency to your boss, or selling a vendor on the benefits of paying on time, otherwise the vendor sells you on the idea that adding an extra 30 days to pay is in your best interest.

Are you getting the idea that selling happens all day long…we just don’t call it that, do we? In fact, I can hear it now, some of you are railing back at the very idea by exclaiming….’well, that’s not really selling!” Oh really?  Your six-year does a better job selling you on the idea that “five more minutes” is to your benefit than you do of selling her on the idea that going to bed is the better idea. Why? Your six-year old is confident in her request. She doesn’t waver and stop to wonder if asking is a good thing or a bad thing. No, she knows “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  (My mom’s favorite saying.)

So, here’s the thing. People need you and your services. They have problems (I can’t set up a website), challenges (I can’t breakthrough my limiting beliefs) and questions (who can I trust to fix my car?) And you have answers and solutions or you know who to refer them to. Frankly, sometimes I want to be “sold” on the idea that you are the right person for me to do business with. I want to know you are confident in your product or service. Confidence, as I’ve mentioned in previous articles, is what we notice first about someone.

Confidence sells.

I don’t intend to get into the “hard sell” versus the “consultative or soft sell” approach, I just want to stress that selling is what makes the world go around. And, yes, I believe getting skilled in selling for business can help make you confident.

What do you think?

Allie is a professional speaker and coach who helps others gain confidence through communication in order to be successful. Read more in her book, Misunderstood! The Fast Guide to Communicating at Work or contact Allie at 407-313-4967 about a coaching program that might be right for you

“I Want to Change My Life but I Don’t Know Where to Begin!”

Have you ever thought, “I want to change my life, but I don’t know where to begin?”

You are not alone. Whether you’re stuck in your business, unhappy about a transition, confused about the next step you need to take to move forward or just undecided about your life path, rest assured others feel the same way.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can change…if you’re willing to change.

You found your way here because you want the pain to stop, you want to sleep at night, you want to move ahead. 

I’m a coach, not a physician or psychologist. Let me say this again…I’m a business coach not a mental health professional.  If you haven’t already seen your doctor to rule out serious depression or other physical or mental issues that will be your first action.

If you’re healthy but know you need to make changes in your life or business then let’s start now.

Step1. Get moving. No kidding. Get out of your seat , move your legs and arms, do some jumping jacks, take a hula hoop for a twirl or get out and take a brisk walk. Get your blood moving and your mind chatter quieted. Do it. This alone will shift your outlook, and your energy so you can begin to see new possibilities.

Step 2. Stand up. While you’re still standing from your jumping jacks, grab a writing utensil and start scribbling. Anything goes. No judging. This isn’t about art it’s about triggering your talents. Talents, passions and dreams that may have been buried, or that you have been denying or suppressing (maybe because someone pushed you in another direction in your life.)

Write it all down. Whatever comes up. Answer these questions. What do I love doing? What makes me lose track of time?  What did I love to do as a kid?

Step 3. Notice what’s coming up. All of it. Was it running around the playground as a kid, or digging for bugs, or reading anything you could get your hands on, or dancing, ball playing, writing…really pay attention. Some of you know and some of you have buried your passions so deep it will take a bit more work.

Do you love the work you do but are lost in details, or are you buried in administration and no longer doing what you love? Have circumstances in your life changed but your adaptability hasn’t? Keep writing until the emotions start to peek through…that’s when you know you’ve hit a nerve. Go–write now!

Step 4. If money were no object what would you do? Avoid making sweeping declarations such as, ” I want to own a spa.”  Dig deeper and ask yourself what you would love about owning a spa–is it managing day-to-day operations, or promotion, or handing customers and problems OR do you hear yourself saying things like, “I love the zen feeling?’ Because if it is the latter, my guess is that you want to GO to a spa but not own one. See what I’m getting at by this question?

Do you feel stuck because money prevents you from doing what brings you joy? Do you feel as though “your time” has passed? Move to step five to rekindle forgotten talents.

Step 5. Do some mind mapping. Even if you can’t be the thing you wanted to be as a kid, like a ballerina or pro ball player, do a bit of mind-mapping to see if there is a way to be involved in that passion.  Mind mapping is a way to get your brain firing on all cylinders.

Grab a large piece of paper and some color markers. Put a circle in the middle of the paper with your idea or thought….now draw lines out from that circle and jot down any ideas that come up. Think circular rather than linear…in-other-words, let it flow without judgment.

Start with these five small steps. That’s where you begin. Have fun. It’s a process but it shouldn’t be drudgery. Coach yourself for a bit but don’t linger in pain.


Ready for help? Then schedule a FREE Breakthrough Session and let me show you how to bust through the walls that are blocking your path to success. This session will help entrepreneurs or corporate refugees  who want some perspective on the next step to take and I’ll even kick in a significant nudge to get you moving.

If you know you need to make a change…and I’m guessing you do because you’re here then take the next step. 

The Breakthrough Session is a service I provide to help you look at things differently so you can make a decision about your life. That’s what you want isn’t it…to make a decision?

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Answer the questions first so we don’t waste time. 

Take the steps above and then leave a comment below on your results.